The Importance of Showing My True Self to Others -本当の私をさらけ出して生きる-

Since I was little, I was bad at showing my “true“ self, pretending to be a normal person like most of those who are around me. This is because of some experiences when I was superior to them in some aspects. For example, when I got a higher test score than my classmates, they praised me, saying “We respect you.” “Respect” is generally used to express positive feelings, but I could not take it at a face value. For me, the word often implies people consider me a different kind of person from them. It’s kind of sad because it means I’m in a different place from people, to who I desire to be close. I feel lonely. So as I mentioned before, I behaved as if I were the same type of person as others, who hate studying or other energy-consuming work. But truthfully, I’m always highly motivated towards everything including studying. Back in high school, I could keep myself from so-called distractions such as YouTube and Instagram. ( Actually, such high motivation prevented me even from regarding them as “distractions”. They seemed less attractive than becoming my ideal self.) However, pretending to be a “normal” person didn’t save me at all. Hiding parts of my true self always stressed me out. Nobody embraced all of me since I didn’t expose myself. I was still lonely. So, I chose this blog, “TARUSOPHY” to show my true self to you. I’m still afraid of what you will think about myself after reading this. But I recently realized some people accept parts of myself that I had tried to hide. And hopefully, so you do.

Myself you always see is true. But me here is also parts of my true self. I hope you embrace both of me.

I really appreciate for your reading.

See you soon.




















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Hi, there. I'm a Japanese blogger. I hope my honest writings will give you a brand new perspective:)


コメント一覧 (1件)

  • Hi Taru!

    Your story is so relatable. My heart feel warm and cozy to read your thoughts. Your reflection on the word “Respect” opened up my eyes to how some friends used to treat me back in High School. That explains a lot about why we were friends, but our relationship wasnt deep. Quite often I felt like you, lonely.

    Sometimes we try to align our behaviour to the society in order to avoid judgments and we ended up forgetting who we really are.

    Thank you so much for your reflections. Please don’t stop writing and sharing a piece of you. I wish you all the success in your life and studies in Canada.